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	To complete this questionnaire, you will need to recall a specific time when there was a conflict in your marriage. Once you have recalled a specific conflict interaction with your partner, answer the questions below.
	Be sure to answer every question. If questions are left blank, it may not be possible to compute your scores and your feedback will be incomplete.

Part 1

Part 2

At the time of the conflict interaction, how did you perceive YOUR PARTNER’S feelings? Rate the extent to which your partner appeared to be feeling each of the following feelings.
My partner appeared to be feeling angry.
My partner appeared to be feeling sad.
My partner appeared to be feeling bored.
My partner appeared to be feeling annoyed.
My partner appeared to be feeling hurt.
My partner appeared to be feeling uninterested.

Part 3

Continued. . . Rate the extent to which your partner appeared to be feeling each of the following feelings at the time of the interaction.
My partner appeared to be feeling irritated.
My partner appeared to be feeling concerned.
My partner appeared to be feeling indifferent.
My partner appeared to be feeling aggravated.
My partner appeared to be feeling disappointed.
My partner appeared to be feeling disengaged.
My partner appeared to be feeling furious.

Part 4

At the time of the conflict interaction, how were YOU feeling? Rate the extent to which you felt each of the following feelings.
I felt angry.
I felt sad.
I felt bored.
I felt annoyed.
I felt hurt.
I felt uninterested.

Part 5

Continued. . . Rate the extent to which you felt each of the following feelings at the time of the interaction.
I felt irritated.
I felt concerned.
I felt indifferent.
I felt aggravated.
I felt disappointed.
I felt disengaged.
I felt furious.

Part 6

Listed below are things people often do when there is a conflict in a relationship. To what extent did YOUR PARTNER do these things during the interaction?
My partner said something mean.
My partner made me feel that my viewpoint was valuable.
My partner raised his/her voice.
My partner was considerate toward me.
My partner told me that I was doing something to cause the problem.
My partner said something kind.
My partner argued.

Part 7

Continued. . . To what extent did YOUR PARTNER do these things during the interaction?
My partner agreed with me.
My partner defended his/her position.
My partner politely talked about his/her feelings.
My partner corrected my statements.
My partner carefully listened so he/she could understand me.
My partner criticized me.
My partner discussed the issue calmly.

Part 8

To what extent did YOU do these things during the interaction?
I said something mean.
I made my partner feel that his/her viewpoint was valuable.
I raised my voice.
I was considerate toward my partner.
I told my partner how he/she was doing something to cause the problem.
I said something kind.
I argued.

Part 9

Continued. . . To what extent did YOU do these things during the interaction?
I agreed with my partner.
I defended my position.
I politely talked about my feelings.
I corrected my partner's statements that were not true.
I carefully listened so I could understand my partner.
I criticized my partner.
I discussed the issue calmly.

Part 10-A

Rate the extent to which each statement describes YOUR experience during the interaction.
I felt criticized.
I felt neglected.
I felt trusting.
I felt dissatisfied.

Part 10-B

Rate the extent to which each statement describes YOUR experience during the interaction.
I felt blamed.
I felt forgotten.
I felt suspicious.
I felt displeased.
I felt betrayed.
I felt deprived.

Part 11-A

Rate the extent to which each statement describes how you perceived YOUR PARTNER during the interaction.
My partner seemed judgmental.
My partner seemed uncommitted.
My partner seemed dishonest.
My partner seemed ineffective.

Part 11-B

Rate the extent to which each statement describes how you perceived YOUR PARTNER during the interaction.
My partner seemed demanding.
My partner seemed unconcerned.
My partner seemed trustworthy.
My partner seemed careless.
My partner seemed inadequate.
My partner seemed fake.
My partner seemed deficient.

Part 12-A

Rate the extent to which each statement describes YOUR experience during the interaction.
I felt accused.
I felt invisible.
I felt skeptical.
I felt discontent.

Part 12-B

Rate the extent to which each statement describes YOUR experience during the interaction.
I felt misjudged.
I felt overlooked.
I felt doubtful.
I felt unfulfilled.
I felt exploited.
I felt unimpressed.

Part 13-A

Rate the extent to which each statement describes how you perceived YOUR PARTNER during the interaction.
My partner seemed controlling.
My partner seemed disloyal.
My partner seemed deceitful.
My partner seemed lazy.

Part 13-B

Rate the extent to which each statement describes how you perceived YOUR PARTNER during the interaction.
My partner seemed imposing.
My partner seemed inattentive.
My partner seemed truthful.
My partner seemed useless.
My partner seemed unresponsive.
My partner seemed incompetent.

Part 14 Listed below are thoughts people often have during a conflict. To what extent were you thinking these thoughts at the time of the interaction?
My partner deserves to be blamed.
My partner has logical reasons for his or her behavior.
My partner has good intentions.
My partner is motivated by selfish concerns.
It makes sense that my partner feels the way he or she does.
My partner did something on purpose that caused this conflict.
My partner is at fault.

Part 15 Continued. . . To what extent were you thinking these thoughts at the time of the interaction?
My partner’s feelings are understandable.
My partner wants sensible things.
My partner could have prevented this conflict.
My partner is being reasonable.
My partner caused this conflict.
My partner’s viewpoint is valid.
My partner knew it was wrong to do something, but did it anyway.

Part 16

Do you expect to continue discussing this issue with your partner? . Yes      Maybe      No . The next time you discuss this issue, what do you predict your partner will do? . If you do not expect to discuss the issue, just imagine what would happen if you did.
In your next conversation, how many of your feelings do you think your partner will understand?
How many of your thoughts and opinions do you think your partner will understand?
How many of your wants and desires to you think your partner will understand?
How many of your motives (the reasons why you do what you do) do you think your partner will understand?

Part 17 To what extent did you use the following approaches to handling this conflict?
I quietly waited for my partner to notice how I was feeling.
I approached my partner and started a discussion about the issue.
I tried to escape from the conflict.
I had bad feelings that I did not tell my partner about.
I tried to avoid discussing the conflict.
I let my partner remain unaware of something important I was thinking.
I chose not to respond to my partner.

Part 18 Continued. . . To what extent did you use the following approaches to handling this conflict?
I waited for my partner to take the first move in discussing something.
I told my partner everything I was thinking about the issue.
I withdrew from my partner.
I let my partner's actions determine whether or not I would share my own thoughts.
I stopped replying to my partner's statements.
I silently waited for my partner to ask what I was thinking.
I tried to ignore my partner.

Part 19 Listed below are different ways that couples resolve (or fail to resolve) conflicts, and different types of changes that couples sometimes make as a result of conflict. What was the eventual outcome of the interaction?
It is likely that, tomorrow, I will think about parts of the conflict that upset me.
To help resolve the issue, I made a change that pleased my partner.